you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
