hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
