i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
