Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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