im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize