If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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