well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
