I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
