My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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