Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is Oprah even human
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dick very happy bro
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
