when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
