SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize