remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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