I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
