News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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