I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize