we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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