You made me cry and you don't even care
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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