yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
