Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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