its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
