Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
