Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
