Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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