honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
