There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
