It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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