I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize