I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I think my moral compass just broke
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
