so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
