omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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