Even the bartender felt bad for me
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Randomize
