Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
