Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
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