I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
