Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
