Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
