Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
