only you would photoshop your dick
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize