Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
