I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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