let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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