i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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