I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize