Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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