is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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