how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm sobbing to NWA
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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