toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
