i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
