Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
