the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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