She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
