my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
