Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
