Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
