I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
