it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
