...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
