actually, I'm a sock model
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize