ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
