I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
