Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize