Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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