farters have to be the big spoon...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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