Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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