Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
