The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
