If i come over, it means nothing
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
