Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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