she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
