You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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