just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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