We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
