The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
