Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
