You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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