help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Please don't give away my fajitas
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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