Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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