carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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