just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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