Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
farters have to be the big spoon...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
