we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
