This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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