I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Welp...herpes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You need Xanax blowdarts
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
