SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
