So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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