I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
should my penis look like a turkey
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
