glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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